Popping pills everyday
Because I can’t find a better way
I’m a drug seeker seeking drugs for healing
I know what you’re thinking and you’re right
I’m an addict
But not of marijuana or cocaine, but of folic acid and OPIOIDS
Addiction takes many forms, and mine wears a mask of healing

Like a vampire, I take blood too
From sack to vein, a journey unfolds, with care and precision
Infusing hope and healing with each passing drop
The fear of the next attack, a burden I can’t unwind
The uncertainty in the time of crisis
My blood and I have a love-hate saga

In a silent scream, my lungs yearn for a breath
My organs whisper, plead for air’s embrace

This unseen burden, a secret I must bear

I’ve learnt to cope, green plants have become my best friends

We exchange gases so we can both live
So as green leafy vegetables, dairy products and fruits
Those are the other routes to escape pain

Pain that claws at every inch of my soul
My blood, a battlefield where cells clash and fight

Sickle-shaped warriors, locked in a desperate plight
Wrestling for the oxygen they deserve
It doesn’t get easier

I see you are strong today, they say
But I end up in the ICU the next
Twenty minutes spent in a silent war
needle against vein, the prickling a rising tide threatening to drown my resolve
But I need these drops to revive my spirit

I’ve been growing and groaning in pains all my life
How awful it is that my RBC is shaped like a moon and not like a doughnut
I have to battle with infections, complications and medications
I couldn’t play with the other kids growing up
It’s either too cold outside or the activity is too strenuous for my health
That I have to stay hydrated five time more than you

They say I trade my doctorate for doctor visits
But if only they’d see past the jaundice, the pain they can’t see
They’d know I’m more than just sickly, more than their label defines
Admist the pain, a glimmer of hope remains
A yearning for a future, free from these chains

Compatibility, is a whispered promise
To break the curse, to rewrite the script
For generation free from the fight
No longer bound by pain’s cruel hand

ABOUT THE POET:

Raheemat Oluwatoyin Jimoh is a writer, poet, graphics designer, and a nursing student. When she’s not studying, she listens to podcast, spoken words poetry, and talk shows. She appreciates quiet time to reflect on the world around her. She strives to use her creativity to make a positive impact in the world.